I wanted to start out this last blog entry ( 3 parts) about Casie Cathrea with one simple fact …. its just not true that we are / were bad parents and I can prove it in Casie’s own words. While ADHD (or whatever she now claims it is) plays a role in some of this, as does the expectations of the takers and enablers that seem to get Casie to live in some alternate choice life while ignoring what we did as parents. How come we weren’t always deemed to be bad parents? First, because it didn’t fit the ultimate sporting parent narrative and second, you can’t get free stuff and help claiming it was your own choices that put you where you are.
- The real trouble with Casie started AFTER she got to college. The below note that Casie’s mother carries with her every day, is from Casie’s own dairy. This was before bad choices, bad friends and a lost ideal protective system in Casie’s own words from the 10th of August 2013 weeks BEFORE College.
It may not fit her current narrative, but above Casie speaks of a parental caring and a want to have her parents proud. Whats changed ? Well I’d guess a natural instinct for “self preservation” and to please the people around her to gain acceptance. She’s been kicked out of her house, and made fun of online by a dad who she betrayed with lies so what should anyone expect ? Casie fights back the only way she knows how, with made up stories full of half truths to find a reason for others to help. Some of the people around Casie today need the reason she wrote the note above to be false. They need to believe its our fault as parents Casie can no longer do the things she could do when that note was written. For the record she was offered an honest way home …. she chose her own road. She was reached out too with an offer of help which was ignored claiming it never happened again trying to justify her choices.
Those folks claiming they are helping for “free”, like a cart boy turned golf pro seeking vindication hiding his own faults while offering help as a way of “gaining something”. Or even a half sister who I’ve not spoken with in over 15 years because of some of her reckless choices, who’s faults might of included a few bad personal choices that if exposed could be catastrophic to other families. The golf wannabe who might be a caring person that has been deceived by someone who’s motivation has more to due with some sort of vindication then honest reflection or protection. He’s just wrong and sadly a zealot who thinks his opinion matters. The new husband who’s Facebook friend adds are 95% young women, who seems to be seeking an opportunity for financial success beyond his current means has his reasons sadly. All of these people have a reason they might or might not believe. Just not a reason that should have used me or us as the “why not”. This is all about the choices of one person caught in a circle of being wrong.
The few more vocal folks have a reason to help / encourage Casie to demean us / me that has nothing to do with her success, rather then justification of a lost opportunity. Common on folks asking Casie as a “friend” to INVEST in selling multilevel marketing products is like asking her to fix a car for money after an online class…. not going to happen! And this is a supposed friend? Encouraging her to continue to promote false story that has never ever been proved because it never happened is again about choices and finding the why. Posting old pictures of a happier time, then claiming they are new, then claiming comment of those pictures is the reason she doesn’t post new ones is just an odd response. Why be so vocal of a “wrong” reflection of a truth. Because the loud noise hides the quiet truth hat sadly someone looking back rather then forward for happiness.
How some of this started …
- Casie was kicked out of our / my house only after refusing to return from a trip to see her boyfriend.
FYI – I later found out that the boyfriend knowingly made her late for the plane and Casie lied.
Now that may seem a bit odd kicking out your daughter after missing a plane. But it has to be put into perspective. Casie had a personal struggle in school caused partially by unmediated ADHD and partially by a new found freedom without a mentor to regulate the “right and wrong” of each days decision. She was befriended by a less the helpful boy (Casey M) who encouraged Casie to rebel, claiming he “alone” loved her for her and could protect her.
From plummeting grades from not going to class , to missing practices while getting caught with this minimum wage boy in her bed, to running away to be with him while missing school and tournaments, Casie was out of control. The school experiment came to an end in January of 2014 and the golf for a living chance came to an end after a 3rd chance at success in May of 2014.
To think we as parents didn’t try to be helpful just isn’t borne out by the facts. We had Casie taken back to school (against my wife’s wishes) in January of 2014 after Casie promised to dump the boy and focus on school. This school experiment ended after 3 weeks later after Casie was again suspended from school for missing class’s and practices with her fiance #1 of 4 ( Casey M). Folks, Casie ran away (3) times to be with a boy without a real job, who wanted to be her Caddy seeing only a girl who could help him financially. How is that on me? This was more Casie choices and not a abusive dad.
Oh I forgot, the leaving cars at airports and flying back to Oklahoma to be with a boy was after Casie had signed HER OWN management deal with one of the worlds top agencies. That was after we had raised money to help finance Casie’s travel and expenses that was controlled by yes her own travels. Oh after Casie had won an event and the caddy wannabe got on social media professing his love for his ticket out of Oklahoma. Oh and after I had been diagnosed with cancer and had set up Casie for independent security past my life. This about choices like it not and not parental choices. This is about personal responsibility and not abuse of any kind. Casie’s only abuser is Casie.
I hope Casie reads this and realizes while no one is without fault in any dispute you are judged ultimately by how the dispute gets resolved. In Casie’s attempts to destroy this family with unproven lies as a form of vindication for stupid and destructive behavior, she lost in an excuse pattern that ultimately ends with her. She may be bitter about how she got to where she is now, but she wasn’t miss treated. She was loved and treated that way by parents expecting honesty and not parents seeking a money ticket as she claims. So far she lives on a farm growing goats far away from the girl below hanging with Sugar Ray. Not sure how that makes us out to be the bad guys.
Sugar Ray in 2014
Coming up Part 2 – The lie about restraining orders in Casie’s own roommates words. Looking at the back and forth at today’s online challenge when each lie is exposed quickly. Going to Dr. Phil for vindication and what her brother has seen and heard in his own words. And a list of ALL the people Casie was helped by that never received her thanks.
Coming up Part 3 – Why this is my final chapter in my involvement. Why today’s Casie can never be yesterdays successes and why it doesn’t matter. Why I am so so mad about being lied about and those few “Facebook” friends ……. like a golf wannabe. And WHY THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GOLF and about Casie’s lie that somehow bad parenting got her where she is today.
One last thing. I was asked if I love my daughter by a close friend. I responded honestly “I used to with all my heart”.
